Survival

No time for therapy

2009-02-12T23:48:00.004-06:00

This is a follow-up to my last post. I figured it was due time to declare defeat on the idea of uncovering what actually happened during and after my stay in edmund lake manitoba.
At the time of my last post i was furious over some issues i was dealing with - my ex drove me to near insanity and as an outlet to vent frustrations i thought i would go back down memory lane, drudge up my journal entries, and let the world know everything.
I tried reading my journals and stopped without finishing them. There was just too much for me to handle, and as i lay in bed for a few nights all i could think about was those times and how difficult it was for me to get through them. Going back, after living this long afterwards, and fighting so hard to maintain my sanity then was just too much. I was getting stressed out all over again and it was affecting my daily life. When you've got a toddler who needs so much, and without the grace of childcare and work, it just wasn't fair to her. My headspace directly affects her, even when i am trying so hard to keep a smile on my face for her. Right now, and probably never, is not a good time for therapy which is what the last post was supposed to initiate.
I don't have the time to deal with this crap, and i don't see myself ever really having the time to deal with it. This is one of those situations where i have to just carry on, not look back, and hope that I am doing the best job i can as a single parent - raising this child on my own.

Back Again - Time to Cover the Truths

2008-12-22T10:00:00.002-06:00

It’s been just over a year since I made my way out of the bush at Edmund Lake to be with my daughter again. It was a journey, perhaps tough by some standards, but my memory of events make it all seem so simple and straight forward. There is a lot of stuff that I omitted from this blog because at the time I needed to focus on the positive, mainly for my mental well being, but also to avoid worrying my family and friends who I posted the entries for.

When I realized that it was the 1 year anniversary of my escape from Edmund Lake I started to not only reflect on what happened over this past year, I started to remember what it was I went through up there while I was away from my daughter. I can’t gauge whether I was tough or weak over the matters – all I can do to figure out where I stand on all of it is to rekindle the blog, post entries about what really happened when I wasn’t blowing sunshine, and hopefully figure out if my current state of mind (with my emotional connection to it all) is realistic.

I will try to keep the entries a modest length as not to bore my readers and subscribers. Enjoy the reading, if it interests you at all, and thanks for coming by or coming back to check out what is going on or has gone on in my world over the last year and a bit. I will try to post on a weekly basis – I’m sure I can find the time to do that in between everything else I’ve got on my plate.

Feel free to post comments, it would be nice to know what you people are thinking on the matters.

Much love,

Jeremiah

Months Later...

2008-05-31T02:05:00.002-05:00

recovery is tough and costs a lot of money. the hardest thing of it all was that is didn't have to go down as it did. i should have been paid on time (at the time of writing this i still have not received my paycheck or an apology) and they should have followed through with THEIR PART OF THE AGREEMENT...all of them.
however, life goes on and you can't get to far ahead with weight on your shoulders - i guess that applies to all involved, or at least it appears that we're all just carrying on. only, i have still to recover fully from it all.

what's next? more of the same - more striving, surviving, succeeding, accomplishing, etcetera. and fuck everyone that stands against me, existing to sabotage my efforts and good intentions.

i'm done, for now. writing that is. it's late and i have commitments to make tomorrow. take care and be safe.

Survived and Living

2007-12-14T13:48:00.003-06:00

i was certain that i could survive, endure the life in the middle of no where...and for the most part i didd. it wasn't the life there that brought me, tore me out and back, to the city.

so thats the end of that journey...discovering who i was and what i was capable of in a setting like that. I could have lasted until spring if it weren't for cartain factors...pay and spousal issues, anxiety and concern for my girl. such is life, mine at least - i am accountable for allowing people to affect my life in negative ways.

and so, onward i trudge. into the unknown, only of a different setting.

thanks to all my friends and family for keeping me going while i was out there. knowing that there was interest and support made everything a lot easier. after all these years and feeling so alone, it took my being alone and separate from the world for me to realize that there was more to me than i thought - there was you.

see you down the road sometime...

epiphany

2007-12-06T11:06:00.002-06:00

obligation: the state of being obligated to do or pay something; "he is under an obligation to finish the job" or "he is under obligation to ensure the health and safety of his children"
facultative: contingent upon certain conditions; assuming a particular role or mode of life but not restricted to that role under all [environmental] conditions
responsibility: the proper sphere or extent of your activities; "it [is] his province to take care of [his child]"
regret: an intelligent (and/or emotional) dislike for personal past acts and behaviors. Regret is often felt when someone feels sadness, shame, or guilt after committing an action or actions that the person later wishes that he or she had not done.

there has been a lot to think about in the last week or so. i've been trying to maintain a positive outlook on things, but i keep getting pulled back into the turbulent thoughts.

i've been here, on earth for over 30 years...31 if you include incubation...and one would think that most of life's lessons would be covered by the beginning of the 4th decade. it seems i am just getting started.

the definitions above are sums of some of my thoughts and emotions, and by using them i felt it easier to bring you to the level that i am on.

this adventure was supposed to benefit my new family in the long term. i was willing to make sacrifices - not seeing a lot of my daughters firsts, caring or teaching her. not being able to hug and hold either of my girls. not living and growing together. this experience has cost me a lot of things - add my baby's mother to that list.

theres a lot more to the situation then i am going to discuss, and i am struggling to find the answers to how i should deal with it.
my obligations are to my employer, and they are to the health and welfare of my child. my responsibilities are to look after this camp, and they are to ensure my child is in a safe place and receiving proper care - not surrounded by drunks, thieves, drug addicts, pedophiles, and murderers.
who is to tell me what obligation or responsibility exceeds the other, if i do not. who you ask and what that person deems as priority will vary from person to person and is dependent on their best interests. if you ask me, there is no question. If questioned, however, the answer is obvious - nothing is more important to me than my child. NOTHING.
from here i am helpless to ensure she is being raised in an environment that i would enforce by my presence - held back by distance, by obligation, and by responsibility. the person that i trusted to ensure Sophia's best interests has decided to jeopardize that for selfish desires.
i am torn but in all rights, given the changes, i shouldn't be here.

trust is a dangerous thing to give to people that abuse it. for all the years of verbal, mental, emotional, and physical abuse that i have put up with i am the one to blame for enduring it with the undying hope that with enough love and compassion people can change. as a martyr, for trying to show someone what life is like with love, honesty, respect, trust, and commitment, i am done.

entries from a notebook

2007-11-30T18:22:00.002-06:00

Monday Sept 10, 2007

This is my first entry in this notebook. I am entering this as i sit in the garage at our home on St. Mary's, having a cigarette and preparing myself for the next phase of the move out of here. There is so much left to clean-up and dispose of, after giving away the majority of our belongings to charity and storing only the essentials that we feel we must hold onto. It's almost disturbing how much junk a person can accumulate over the years! Freedom is decided by the amount of stuff one has. All this down-sizing is our efforts to establish money for relocating to BC. This is hopefully going to be the greatest adventure of my life. During the next 9 months we will be in the middle of nowhere, literally. It's exciting and nauseating at the same time. The excitememnt of the adventure to the unknown, and nausea from fears we have concerning our 7 month old daughter, her safety and ours, and how our relationship will unfold. I'm hopeful it will strengthen our bond and love for one another, and our outlook on the future.
The rest of this day will involve packing the remaining "left overs" for storage, cleaning and preparing for tomorrows events - more cleaning, the walk-through with the landlord, and setting up camp at a nearby hotel before heading out to the north on wednesday.

1:30am, Sept 12 2007

Yesterday was pretty busy. After ending the day at 4:00am, after all the garbage removal and minor cleaning, I woke at 8:30 and prepared to get Trisha's sister to the bus station. We took a cab, having decided that carting her boxes and baggage on the public transit was ridiculous. We both arrived there with less than 5 minutes to purchase her ticket and get her stuff to the bus. She made it on and I headed out to complete errands. I stopped for my medication, b12, vitamin d, a calling card, and a memory stick that was dirt cheap. Then i went down to the local post office and purchased a years worth of mail redirection to the north, where Trisha and Sophia will be living for the duration of my time in camp. Then I took a cab home with some boxes I got at the post office. Trisha and I scrambled during the remaining time we had left before the landlord arrived to do the walk through condition report. From 1130 to 230pm we did the last bit of packing and cleaning, in a mad attempt to meet the 230 deadline, after which we planned to be at my grandparents for our 300pm commitement. I commisioned the neighbor to help me drive the remaining things we had leftover to my grandparents home. Trisha and Sophia took a cab to my grandparents home while I drove with the neighbor to meet them.

Sept 13, 2007

I'm sitting on the front step of my sister-in-laws home in Thompson. To my left i can hear a kabota excavating soil next to a house, in front of me the sounds of a skillsaw, a plane flying overhead, and the music from Sophia's DVD playing in the living room. Once in awhile I can hear Sophia babbling away at some sort of amusing scenery or object.
We arrived in Thompson this morning at 7:03 after a 9 hour bus ride. We managed all of our belongings into a taxis in winnipeg and the bus station here for a total fee of 60$ with tips. The bus tickets cost us 274$, including our bags and boxes. I was sure it would have cost us so much more! It was nice to have not spent as much as I thought because now we have more money to cover Trisha and Sophia's expenses for the next month.
My flight to the lodge is delayed until tomorrow, possibly saturday, depending on whether or not another guest can make it along for either day. Whatever the case may be I will be happy to spend more time with Trisha and Sophia before I go. I will miss them both so much and it will be tough to be away from both of them for so long but I will use that to drive me to survive it. I'm already looking froward to finishing my time out there so I can be with my family again. However, I can't think too much on that or I will regret this venture before it even happens. We're focusing on the bank we'll have accumulated in the 8 or so months in camp. This is all for the future, which is the driving force behind my determination to do this - sacrifices and all.

1126am, Sept 14 2007

I believe I will be leaving tomorrow either on the 9am or 3pm flight. I am not nervous about going or the flight, I know as well that Trisha and Sophia are in loving care with Chuck and Esther. Should something happen to me, they will be solid for my girls and make sure they carry on - without too much stress or hardship. Thats not to say I think I will die out there - I do have one major concern, my health. Everything else is just obstacles I will kick down as they come. I plan on gaining more physical strength while I'm out there, and anti-biotics in case of an infection.

later that day

It is confirmed, my flight is booked for tomorrow at 9am. My ETA for the lodge should be between 10-11am. It will be interesting to se all the stuff that Chuck has to say and show me about the camp and what my responsibilities will be. I need to find my camera though for the flight and the next months ahead. I would hate not to have it with me and miss out on taking pictures and video for my blog. Hopefully I can find it tonight!

Sept. 15, 2007

I'm sitting in God's Lake Narrows, waiting for Chuck to arrive for my flight out to the lodge. I found my camera last night so I took pictures and video of the trip here. I put fresh batteries in but they don't seem to be too strong - i'm down to half a bar. Hopefully they will last long enough for me to get some more pics and video of the next part of the trip.
The flight was pretty cool. I love taking off and especially then the plane banks to take a turn. Theres lots of positive and negative g's that make it interesting. Part of me wishes i had a pilots license!
It was so sad to part with Trisha this morning. I don't like to see her cry, but after last night and spending my sleep on the couch I felt glad to see that she cared enough to be that way. It was hard to go, but i am determined to make this work out. I wanted to wake Sophia before I left, to see her baby blues and smile one last time but I just couldn't. She was so peaceful in her sleep and I decided to capture the moment in my mind. She's such an angel and I will miss both her and Trisha a lot. Hopefully she will remember me when I see her again.

Frozen

2007-11-25T06:00:00.002-06:00

There’s something to being in the middle of nowhere and being surrounded by snow that feels unlike anything else I’ve experienced. In the past, working with a survey company, I’ve had to endure being outside in sub zero temperatures for up to 10 hours and as long as I’m well dressed with the proper gear, warm and comfortable, there isn’t any desire to be indoors.
The coldest weather I’ve been witness to was during that time working with the survey company when the mercury dropped to -62, without the wind chill. That day in Flin Flon, working on the 777 project, was memorable. A lot of the construction crews had to shut down because their men or equipment couldn’t handle the bitter cold. There I was, trudging through snow up to my knees with my rod in hand, taking elevation shots for the seemingly endless data that my company required and all I can remember aside from the joyful stroll, the crews shutting down, and my partner at his station dancing around to keep warm, was the peaceful calm as the moisture in the air crystallized and gently fell to the ground. The crystalline shimmers from the ice falling through the air made it seem like we were floating in the clouds, as if in heaven. I could have stayed out there all day to work in that atmosphere, and the memory of the experience is something I’ll never want to forget.
People that can endure the harsh winters of the north, in my opinion, are worthy of recognition. Those that go away for winter vacations to get away from the cold and snow are causing themselves more grief, to come back after a “second summer” only to despise that which they ran from in the first place. There is no joy in that kind of existence - unless, however, they go back to their city homes and lives where everything becomes a gross brown mess of salt and sand. For those people, I can’t blame for leaving. City winters, at least cities that get snow annually, are undeniably revolting. The disgust reflects on every face, and I assume, a lot of the time unknowingly. What I’ve been missing in my life are winters in the country, where salt and sand are used sparingly and the country side is blanketed with a beautiful white powder that gets sculpted continuously by the wind, like sand in a desert.
I’ve been out here awhile. I’ve seen the tail end of a beautiful summer, watched the leaves turn color, witnessed the lake turn to glass, and I’ve seen numerous snowfalls. I thought in the time I’ve spent alone that I would surely lose my mind if I was not connected in some way to the outside world, and I’ve also come to realize that I’m sure to miss this place and this quiet peace once I encounter the “idiocracy” of the modern world next year. That is something of the world I do not miss at all - stupid people doing stupid things. In the past I’ve wondered “who in their right mind would live in the middle of nowhere?” thinking of the reservations across the country. Now that I’ve witnessed both worlds, I don’t blame them one bit. They are in paradise, selectively absorbing the comforts of the busy world.

It was a pleasure to have some guests out here. Yesterday afternoon two native gentlemen from God’s River came out by skidoo on a journey to the east, to Kistigan Lake where an exploration company has been searching for gold. Dulas or Jr., as he prefers, and Andrew, are working to mark a trail from God’s River to the outpost camp so that supplies can be brought in. The two have lived out here all their lives and know the area fairly well. It was their arrival, their stories, and knowledge that made me feel closer to civilization and realize that I am not as far from people as I originally thought.
Now that there is a trail from God’s River to Edmund Lake, a journey by skidoo might only take me 3 hours one way. This is comforting to know that in case there is a medical emergency help is not far away. Dulas has already offered to help me out with whatever I need. It is not this offer that convinces me that natives are good people, I’ve known this for a long time, but for some reason abolishes a lot of animosity I have towards the ones that have wronged me in the past.
My father, who practices native religion, brought me closer to the beliefs and culture of the people and through our relationship has enabled me to find common ground with them. Conversation with native folk is a lot easier when you can understand their history and where they come from, and each experience becomes more enlightening than the previous one as I gain more insight into their beautiful world. I initially thought my father eccentric for pursuing their belief system, but as time goes by and I keep an open mind I become more grateful that he is who he is. It is also with great pride that I can say my future wife, and our daughter, have the blood of great warriors and of beautiful people flowing through their veins.

I apologize to you for not having another video finished and posted on this site. I have been working again to increase my arsenal of tools with which to craft future shorts. My pursuits have almost been completed with the addition of a design program used by any engineering company, but I am still not finished. My next acquisition, hopefully, is of a program that most video game developers are using. My goal, aside from learning the interface and abilities of the second program, is to start incorporating cg into my videos. The reason for this is to continue the challenging of my expressions, and unfortunately the awesome editing program I acquired a month or so ago just doesn’t cut it. In all reality, I am a total novice when it comes to creating anything. I could continue to create similar movies to the ones I have already and become so good at it that little to no effort would be involved, but that does not satisfy my hunger. My hunger lies in the achievement of understanding how the programs work, how to express a certain idea, and ultimately exceeding the capacity of those programs or tools.
Example, the split screen video where there was two of me was pretty much the main reason for getting the editing program in the first place. Now that I know I can do it, I know I can produce another similar idea using that program…but, that same program will not allow me to express the idea to its fullest potential. That is where the cg (computer graphics) comes in. I’ll post a video by the end of this week that gives you a brief example of what I am talking about.
The whole point and enjoyment behind making these videos, aside from a regular and enthusiastic audience is to discover my limitations and those of the programs or tools I have.

Thanks for stopping by, until next time…stay healthy!

Week 9

2007-11-18T20:35:00.002-06:00

It’s been some time now. 56 days in the bush and I’m still here. Not that I could really go anywhere anytime soon. I am starting to feel disconnected from a few things. Today while speaking to Trisha, a daily routine she insists on, I was told my little girl started calling someone Dad. This bit of news should have been kept from me if Trisha was concerned about how I felt - she knows I don’t like the guy. In the absence of things to think about out here I’m sure that will eat away at me like battery acid on the skin. On top of all the sacrifices that slap me in the face everyday, this will be added to them.

I’m not supposed to regret this decision to be here. I’m supposed to play my part of the plan we made. Sometimes I wish my team was more oriented to winning the game instead of sabotaging the goal. Only time will tell what decisions will be made later from the “changes” to the plan that have been forced upon me.

I tried to get out to my camping spot earlier this week but had to turn around because the ice was melting. On the way back the ice broke and I fell through into the cold water. I was on the ski-doo and following the shoreline as I had before, but three days of -5 made the ice unstable. It wasn’t a big deal really, although I was pretty freaked out that I had fallen through. Fortunately the front of the sled was on the ice and rocks so only the back end was in the water. The track was the only part that was submerged, but lifting the machine was pretty difficult. I had to get into the water up to my crotch in my first attempt to get the sled out. I tried lifting a couple of times but couldn’t get the sled onto the shore. The position I was in made it difficult to exert enough power. Upon realizing this my mind scrambled to find the solution. There were a few tie down straps under the seat, but nothing to secure them to. The next thing to try was to run the engine and the track, rocking the machine in hope that it would grab the edge of the opening and pull itself out. Two attempts at that method resulted in the machine freeing itself. I was pretty useless, other than controlling the throttle and rocking the machine I served no help in force or strength. About 5 minutes had passed since I broke through the ice, about 3 since I jumped into the drink so I was feeling the cold water cool my feet and legs. I hopped on the machine and made my way back to the cabin, opting to take a short cut through the bush that I hadn’t noticed before. When I got back to the cabin I stripped out of my wet clothes, put on some dry ones and headed back outside to clean the track of all the slush and snow that had accumulated on the trip back. Once that was done, it was business as usual and I ripped around the camp glad to NOT have been stranded again. The whole ordeal caused me to rethink my efforts to get out and explore. I spent the remainder of the week around camp. I did monitor the temperature and ice conditions, however, because I still would like to get out to the “camp” site to take some video and pictures. Conditions are favorable right now, but I’m going to give it a few more days before I consider heading out that way again. If something else happens with attempt #3, I will consider that area off limits. I can stand to hit myself in the face with a stick three times, but four times is just stupid…

I have been working more and more on videos and web stuff these past couple of weeks. It’s past an obsession now, I think. As I learn the extents of the editing program, and the limitations of my camera I can’t help but wonder what kind of road I am walking down. A friend recently bought a really nice HD camcorder after much deliberation concerning price versus quality and he spent quite a bit of money on it. I am the cheapest guy you’ll meet, it’s hard for me to part with anything over $100 without thinking about it, and thinking, and humming, and thinking…knowing what stores pay for merchandise and what I end up paying them to sell me things almost always sends me walking away empty handed. I have to know I am getting a deal, or paying closer to their cost, if I’m going to get something…most times. So, aside from figuring out the quality versus price matrix I will have to come to terms with having to part with a sizeable amount of money if I am going to pursue this video hobby any further…once I leave this place. Who knows, this whole obsession might just be another phase. I’d gladly take it as far as film and television school, but everything boils down to money.

There is another video for your viewing pleasure, if you haven’t noticed already. It’s called “cookies & tequila”. As well, I am looking for input on your experiences with alcohol. Somewhere on this page is a link to join the Edmund Lake Forum, from which you can post your thoughts and ideas on the subject, to be “generically” mentioned in a video I am currently working on. Your participation will be appreciated.

snow bank pillows don't make for good sleep

2007-11-11T06:00:00.002-06:00

The other day I went out for a "quick" stroll around the neighborhood with one of the snow machines. It was about 3:30pm and I wanted to adventure around the peninsula for something to do. I put the gas can on the back of the machine and brought an ax in case. I set out along the shore line and stayed as close as I could because the ice is still thin the further out you go. After about 15-20 minutes the ski-doo ran out of gas (don't worry, i brought gas). I got off to grab the gas can, only to find it wasn't there. Hmm. It was starting to get dark. That's when a quick jolt of panic hit me as I tried to decide what I was going to do. Either leave the snow machine and walk back to the cabin in the dark, or use the time I had left to setup a quick shelter and gather some fire wood for a night out in the cold. I opted for choice number 2.
It's a good thing I brought an ax with me. I started by choosing the best spot for me to settle in, between two pine trees. I chopped a length of a small tree that spanned both pines and placed it on the bottom branches. Then, I chopped three more small trees and leaned them against the lengthwise tree. Once those were in place, I used bows from surrounding pines and laid them on top of the three leaning poles to create a ceiling, a means to stop the wind from blowing on me. Although there was no wind, I was preparing myself for some. As well, I was able to make a bed from spruce bows.
Once the lean-to was closed in, which took about 30 minutes, I gathered as much dead wood as I could for a fire to keep warm. It was getting harder to see once i had enough wood gathered to start a fire. It's a good thing I had a lighter in my snowsuit! The fire was a quick start, even though i was warm enough with all my gear on, it was nice to have some extra light. With the fire now illuminating the surrounding area, I was able to gather some more wood. With enough wood to last the night, there really wasn't any more daylight left to see further than the fire would illuminate, so gathering more wood was almost impossible. There was enough light "around camp" to cut more branches to create comfortable bedding and a "blanket" to keep me warm and off the ground.
One trick to surviving and keeping warm in a cold environment I learned recently from one of my favorite television shows "survivor man" - heating rocks on the fire. I was able to kick some smaller rocks out from under the snow and ice that I placed around the fire. Once they were heated up, and I was getting hungry and tired, I took them away from the flames and placed them underneath the spruce bows, concentrated in an area where my central core would be. When everything was in place and I laid down between those bows, I was pretty warm. It was easy to fall asleep. I'm not sure what time it was when I did fall asleep, but it could have been about 6 hours or so after it got dark...at least it felt like bed time. I'm not sure if it was the fresh air, or if i was actually tiring around my usual bedtime. In any case, I woke up numerous times during the night, not sure if i had heard something in the bushes or not...it was a little freaky, especially since I didn't have my gun with me. I did have a sharpened stick, but that was more for a false sense of security. Thank goodness nothing decided to eat me.
When the sun started to illuminate everything with blue hues I decided to head out and find the gas can. I headed back down the ski-doo trail to find it, stopping quite frequently to listen for sounds that were probably both me and my imagination. There are so many things that ran through my head after realizing the gas can wasn't where I put it. I had a lot of disappointed feelings about my quick "adventure" and personal criticisms that will help me to prevent it from happening again in the future. Once I found that gas can, the first thought I had was "It will be nice to sleep in my bed!" I had some renewed energy at that point, a second wind...or 10th...to get back to the snow machine and fuel it up so I could get back to the cabin and take a nap.
I was thankful it started with two pulls, and as it warmed up I made sure the fire was completely out by kicking snow on it.
When I got on the ski-doo and before I left that spot I looked back at that area that had been my shelter and warmth through the cold night and I was filled with a sense of pride that I had done all that without hesitation and actually pulled it off. Some people would have walked through the dark to look for that gas can, and then back to the snow machine - risking wandering off the trail onto a patch of thin ice...

It was nice to get back to the cabin, being greeted by the trusty canine mascot who had also spent the night outside. It as also nice to find coals in the fireplace to start a fire from, and it was sweet to get changed into comfy a comfortable sweat suit and climb into bed. It felt weird doing that when it was getting light out, but it was a great sleep.

Mishaps like the one I've just shared with you helped me to appreciate what I do have at this place. They are simple things...a warm fire, four walls and a roof, a comfortable bed...but the night out in the snow allowed me to step out of the box and realize what I unknowingly take advantage of. Part of me now thinks I purposely set myself up or was setup for that situation by divine intervention. Afterall, the empty gas can was on the back of the machine when i returned.

Week 7

2007-11-04T06:00:00.002-06:00

Thus ends another week. 7 down, 28ish more to go. Seems like I've been here forever; it's almost like everyday is the same. Apart from the daily tinkering around the camp my evenings are pretty much the same. TV is a good thing to have, but there is so much of the same crap that makes it feel like I'm stuck in hell. I'm pretty thankful for the internet, telephone, and the one tv show I've come to love - reaper. Tuesdays can't come quick enough! The highlight of my week is talking to Trisha on the telephone, webcamming so i can see my girls, and that show. sigh.

Today ended a quiet week, being the worst day I've had since I've been here. I've been spending the last few days moving three floating docks to a quiet bay on the south side of camp. The lake started to show some ice and was an indication that I should get those big, awkward things on shore, and get the boat out of the water before it became frozen in place until spring. However, my attempts today to get the boat out of the water lasted right up until the sun went down and all i could see was my footsteps in the snow back to the house.

So the first thing to do was get the ATV throttle cable back on. It was frozen and i couldn't use it, I had to attach a string to the governor and a stick at the other end to hold so I could haul some wood and other odd items around. Once that was fixed I drove to get the boat trailer only to run out of gas when backing up to clip it onto the ATV. After I filled a gas can and returned to the ATV I noticed it was leaking and I had left a trail of gas from the gas tanks to the ATV. I got the tank fueled up and clipped the trailer onto the ATV, drove it down to the shore and parked it.
The lake had frozen a layer of ice about a quarter inch thick, and subsequently glued the boat into place. After smashing the ice and freeing the boat, I had to clear ice far back enough so the boat could sit behind the submerged trailer ready to load it on. I backed up the trailer into the water, loaded the boat, clipped it onto the cable, and started to drive it out of the water. Thats where the fun really started. The ATV not only dug itself into the sand, ice, and water but it stalled out. Now i was hooped. The process of trying to get it unstuck took about an hour, backing it up, driving it forward all the while fighting with the choke, throttle, and drive chain...which had decided to come off the gears. Son of a bitch. After a futile struggle to get the damned boat out of the water, the battery on the ATV started to die.
That's about when i started to curse and yell. Well enough was enough, i decided, and i secured the trailer to a post onshore with a winch. Then I unclipped the trailer from the ATV
so the whole rig wouldn't disappear into the lake. I walked to the house and tried starting the big skidoo. I had no luck with that one, so I started up the smaller skidoo and headed down to shore to pull the ATV out. In the process, the skidoo ran out of gas. More swearing and cursing. I went back to the house to get the other skidoo started. Looking back on the way I couldn't help but laugh. A boat on a trailer in the water, an ATV a quarter submerged in water attached to a skidoo. What else could possibly go wrong?
Well after trying to start the big skidoo, and near killing the battery, I managed to pull start it not once but four times. Cocksucker. Covered in sweat, swimming in my snowsuit, I raced down to the shore...and froze nicely along the way. I wasn't worried at all that I would get a cold from the chill. I knew I still had to get that other skidoo started, which involved pulling the cable until i couldn't breathe so I was guaranteed to work up some more sweat. I got the damned thing moved by hand. No amount of pulling was going to start it. I should've realized that when it ran out of gas, but i like to do things the hard way sometimes.
After getting the big boss down to the shore, I got the ATV moved and the boat and trailer out of the water in under ten minutes. Thank you! The sun had already gone down and it was getting difficult to see, and I still had to refuel the generator.

Thank god the 40 year old virgin was on tv when i finished my cleanup and ate dinner. I needed a good laugh after that bullshit. Tomorrow will be fun, another continuation of today in that i have to get the ATV charged or boosted and moved up to the house, the skidoo refueled and moved up to the house, and the boat unloaded. More of the same fun stuff...

Thanks to all of you who voted on the video poll. It will give me some time to create another video for all of you to view. I may be posting another poll sometime in the near future if I don't have anything up my sleeve...

Until next week, take care and stay healthy!

Week 6

2007-10-28T06:00:00.002-05:00

After the boss left I was feeling sick. Adjusting once again to solitary life took me about four days. I didn’t get all that much done around here and aside from a slight depression, I was suffering mild sickness from constant sweating and freezing from the work we did. I’m sure the rain didn’t help me either. I know that Chuck got sicker than I did, despite my efforts to remedy the oncoming symptoms he was feeling when he was here with ginger tea and a barrage of vitamin pills. I kept up on the ingestion of ginger tea, cayenne pepper pills, and vitamins which I’m confident curbed a full blown illness. For that I am grateful, I don’t want to be sick at all while out here.

Last night freaked me out. When I went out to shut down the generator there was about an inch of snow on everything. At first I was cursing and my face was puckered, but after all the lights were out and there was no sound at all it was pretty peaceful. The moon was out so everything lit up, I didn’t have to use the flashlight at all to get back to the house. I stood outside for a couple of minutes looking around and admiring the change in scenery. It’s cool how snow accents everything. After that moment I wasn’t as crabby about going out and working.

My adventures today took me out across the lake with the boat to a place I’ve been using as a wood supply. There is a creek close by that has had beavers in the past and they took down a lot of big trees that have aged perfectly. I’m sure that I’ll be able to get most of the supply that I need to last me well into the freeze, at which time I can venture to other spots around the lake like Burn Island where there is more than enough seasoned wood for me to use.

It was invigorating being outside in that frosty air. I forgot how much I missed working out in the snow. As long as I have no discomfort, like frozen feet or fingers, I can stay out there all day.

I am so pumped about the fact I finally located my other 512mb card for my camera. Now I can shoot 2 hours of video without running back to the computer. With the cards and batteries I can film video for as long as I need to. My concern is the cold air on the equipment, but I’ll figure out how to fix that issue. I am currently building a tri-pod and a monopod. It shouldn’t take too much effort to work something into the design so the subzero temperature doesn’t effect the equipment. I’ll let you know how it goes.

In case you haven’t taken notice, there is a new poll located at the bottom of this page. If you have a chance, take a moment to vote on what kind of video you would like to see based on the choices I’ve provided. Thanks for your input. Take care and be safe!

Week 5

2007-10-23T17:09:00.002-05:00

The week started out pretty quiet around here with not much noise happening from my activities but from the chainsaw, motor boat, and the john deer AMT gator. Then Chuck, brother-in-law and boss, arrived - and the rest of the week becomes a blur of bloody carcass, billions of stars and northern lights, fish, football, repairs, hauling, bloody clothes, flying, boat motors, rain, running, and sore backs.

Bloody Carcass

Ten minutes after he arrived here we headed out on the boat for a cruise to a known spot for moose in this area five minutes away. When we cruised around an island to get a view of the spot we saw four moose on the shore. I took over the navigation while Chuck took aim with his rifle. With a loud pop that echoed across the area, one of the Bull Moose moved forward a couple of steps and fell to the ground as the rest ran into the forest.

As we approached the shore I could hear the grunts of the moose, soft and low. We brought the boat ashore and stood 15 or 20 feet away from the Bull, watching him struggle with his wound. The shot entered exactly where it should have, just behind the front leg, puncturing the lungs. As I stood there I felt a sorrow as he laid struggling and dying. I wanted to walk up to him and scratch his face like you would a horse, a thought encouraged from the sight of such a beautiful creature wounded (I won’t carry on describing my thoughts and feelings of the moment, or how the death was). Ten minutes after being shot the moose was ready to be field dressed. Unfortunately we were losing daylight and had to use a camp light to start the process. There are a few different ways to do it but here is a guide to field dressing a moose:

1. Clear Your Working Area
2. Bleed The Animal
3. Preparatory Skin Cuts, Throat to Anus
4. Break the Breastbone
5. Sever the Wind Pipe and Gullet from the Head
6. Open the Abdomen to the Anus
7. Split the Pelvic Bone
8. Cut the Diaphragm from the Cavity Wall
9. Free the Anus and Bladder
10. Roll Out The Abdominal Organs with Anus Attached
11. Remove the Neck and Chest Cavity Organs
12. Clean the Body Cavity
13. Prepare the Carcass for Cooling or Quartering

It helps to be prepared with all the supplies and tools you need and in order to avoid a ten hour drawn out nightmare, in the dark and the cold it’s best to hunt during daylight with enough time left in the day to field dress and transport the meat. The experience Chuck showed me was “what not to do” along with a lot of crucial “what to do” pointers. Being apart of the process made me curious about a few elements of hunting, such as how to get a gun, how much they cost, how much bullets cost, what a tag is worth, how many pounds of meat does an average kill yield, to name a few.
After trying the best roast I’ve ever, I was enticed to become a part of the hunt in the future. The meat from a moose is undeniably one of the best I’ve eaten, and probably the healthiest.

FISH!

I love fishing. The tranquil moments in between hooking a fish on the line is pleasant but once that line goes taut and the pull bends the rod, the spark of excitement is what a better part of the experience is all about. It’s fun to get the fish into the boat too, wrestling the slimy thing to get the hook out of its mouth, holding it up to admire the size, and letting it go back into the water. If the point of the excursion is to get as many fish as your license allows then the fun is in actually catching your limit. However, the filleting of all those fish can be a mess…it’s kind of bitter sweet. The excitement of the catch, the mess of filleting, and the oh so sweet pay off in the end – eating the fish. My favorite fish is pickerel, or Walleye. Breaded and oven cooked or pan fried is pretty sweet, but my recent favorite is deep fried spicy with Frank’s Red Hot sauce. Chuck introduced me to this method and it’s unbelievable. Thinking about it makes my mouth water!

Rain, Bloody Clothes, and Flying

The rest of the week was composed of repairing broken or malfunctioning equipment, testing boat motors, running around in the constant rain, and flying to and from Gods Lake.

The more moving parts you own, the more that can go wrong and the more time or money you will spend maintaining those parts. What I’m talking about are the motors that run this and that, specific equipment for specific tasks. There is no end to the maintenance. Oil, spark plug, and fuel changes, rocker pins, feeler gauges, springs, carburetors, leaks, battery servicing and charging, magnetos, my head hurts. Fact is, when you have a place like this to keep up there is no end to the work that needs to be done. My hat goes off to Chuck for taking this place on. It takes a special type of person, one who has endless patience to deal with everything.

The major part of this place is the boat motors. Without them clients would be paddling around this huge lake. One season is hard on the inventory but aside from the boats, this place wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for key elements like the motors. Making sure that they all run well and that there are backups is crucial. I believe I lifted in excess of 2000lbs, combined, during the testing of each one. It’s no wonder that both our backs are a bit broken.

One highlight among all the things that we did while he was here is the flight to and from Gods Lake Narrows. It gave me a chance to get to the local store and purchase a few needed items. I brought in a lot of batteries for my camera, but unfortunately they were old and didn’t last as long as I needed them to. So I was more or less forced to choose between not having a camera for pictures, taking apart the camera and fitting it to use D or C cell batteries, or getting a stock of new ones. Fortunately there was a nice choice of cells to get at this store but they came at a high price. $80+tax is the price I was willing to pay for rechargeables meant for digital cameras. I get a lot of use out of a pair, which is insurance that I will be able to make movie shorts and take some good pictures. I am wishing I could locate my other 512mb sd card, which would allow me to shoot over 2 hours of video combined with my other 512…but I can work with what I have.

Week 6

The start of week 6 has been a little slow. I was able to get out and finish up some chores leftover from Chuck’s visit but unfortunately all that cold and rain left me feeling under the weather with a light cold and some chest congestion. I have asthma so I have to be careful with my health and make sure that I take care of my lungs, otherwise I will not be able to get out and finish up the stuff that needs to be done around here before I get completely snow bound. That’s a reality that is getting closer; as I look outside and the snow is falling…I need to get back to 100% as soon as possible.

Thanks for checking in to see how this adventure is going. It means a lot to me that you are interested in what is going on in my life. That is what drives me to post on this blog. I hope to have you back soon; hopefully I will be able to post on schedule next Sunday! Until then, be safe and take care in all that you do.

Week 4

2007-10-14T06:00:00.002-05:00

This week i had the pleasure of having a couple of guests. The owner of Edmund Lake Lodge and another pilot, Randall, came out here to drop off groceries to last me through the winter. The visit was only about an hour, but it was nice to have people to talk to.
Afterwards, upon reflecting on the visit, I realized that I may have come across like that park ranger from the red green show without the pestering for them to stay, or me obsessively putting on and taking off my jacket.
It was a quick unload and hauling of supplies to the house from the dock and a mad scramble to collect as many empty propane cylinders, fuel barrels, and whatever other little odds and ends Chuck could think of. The reason for the rush was that Randall was delayed by poor weather conditions in Thompson and also had to return to Thompson before dark.
After they left I had the duty of organizing and packaging all the meat, frozen vegetables, milk, and bread for freezing. Now the freezers are full, no more room to store anything else which is comforting. It's nice to have a choice of what to eat and great that I have milk and fresh vegetables and fruit. For almost four weeks I was eating klik sandwiches and painfully drinking powdered milk which for some reason left a burning sensation in the back of my throat.

This Monday I should have three visitors for about three days before I am left here in solitude until the proposed winter road is put in, or the ice breaks up on the lake in May. It will be cool to have some people around to converse with, although I'm sure I will be out taking full advantage of the "no snow" situation, collecting more firewood while they are out fishing and hunting.
I would like to join them, but I can not afford the time. Snow usually flies sooner in the north than later...most years halloween is the time that it starts. That's not far away and i still have about 3 cords to bring back to the house. I estimate that I will need between 5-8 cords to last me through the whole winter, depending on what types of trees i can get. So far I have 3.5 cords, and declining, of a mix of pine, birch, aspen, and balsam fir. The majority around here is pine which burns too quickly and is not well seasoned. The mix i like to use on a daily basis is pine mixed with birch, aspen (poplar) or balsam. This ensures a longer burn time, which means less trips between the stock and the wood box. However, the prevalence of unseasoned pine versus seasoned aspen, birch and balsam presents me with a dangerous situation that I am trying to avoid. I would like to get a nice compliment of seasoned wood so as to prevent or reduces the build-up of creosote from green or wet wood - which means having to hunt for the good stuff. In addition to the quest for mixed seasoned wood, I would prefer to have all but pine as this wood burns longer, hotter, and more efficiently. These factors would allow me to go out at anytime for up to 12 hours and not worry about stoking the stove and returning to no coals. As well, it is nice to wake up in the morning to a warm home with coals left to help start up the days heating supply.

I apologize for the length of this post. I am sure that all this reading has left you with square eyes. The reason for not having anything worth reading in the last week is taht I've been occupied with other things, like learning to use my new video editing program.
I've compiled a couple of short videos so far and I am really liking the new program. The last one, i'm sure, receded my hairline a couple of centimeters as it crashed ALL the time. It was very frustrating, but now I am in heaven with this new junk. There are lots of features that I have yet to discover and use to full potential.
I have a plan in mind to start posting short videos on my blog for your entertainment. They will NOT be Hollywood quality movies or videos, but my own stupid and weird creations. Hopefully you people will get a couple of laughs from them, they are after all, completely meant to do that.
I have to depart for now from this machine. It's time to relax and plan out Sundays tasks. Until next week, take care and be safe!

Thanksgiving Wishes

2007-10-07T22:46:00.002-05:00

I hope that you all got your fill of turkeys or whatever you had for thanksgiving dinner, and that you surrounded yourselves with family, friends, or both. You may not have noticed but I was not there this year to sit and be thankful with you, or thankful that I was surrounded by love and people I care about but you were all in my thoughts and I was thankful to have had a good and healthy dinner.

Sorry I didn't post anything about this place or what I've been up to. I've been busy working on other things to spare the time or effort to sit down and write some more "blog". The plan was to have a posting every Sunday, and a video at least once a month. This is my posting for this week, hopefully I'll have enough time on the computer this week to put together two for next sunday.

To those I love, I miss you dearly. Until next week, be safe and stay healthy.

What did I get myself into? Part Two

2007-09-29T09:00:00.002-05:00

I've been here for 15 days now. This time, so short, has given me a chance to think about a lot of different things. From how I will keep busy throughout the winter, what jobs need to be accomplished beforehand, to how much I will miss my girls. As i adjust to life out here there is so much more passing through my mind.
When I arrived here I had no idea of the full scope of this trip. I tried to conceive of everything that I would have to do to keep myself and this place going. I imagined scenarios, situations, predicaments, that would meet me when I arrived, or that would happen while being here but one important aspect escaped my imagination and consideration. I had not thought about having to deal with myself.
It took until three days ago for me to be struck by the idea. As I was sitting on the steps trying to enjoy a cup of coffee, I watched the light of the sun disappear. As the details of my surroundings became less noticeable, I became increasingly aware that my mind was racing. This was a source of discomfort. The one thing to immediately calm myself would have been to meditate - slowing the mind and focusing on my breathing. Knowing of this only caused me to ignore that idea, as curiosity to understand this situation overwhelmed me. I started to pick apart my thoughts and was intrigued to discover that I had many happening simultaneaously. A song, my babys smiling face, details of her daily routine, the communication problems and strength of love between me and my girlfriend, my landlord's attitude upon parting ways, my grandfathers health, outstanding bills yet to be addressed, and the disappointment in my brothers voice at the news I wasn't going to be in BC until next year...to name a few.
I became increasingly calm until all that existed was the reflection inward and the waiting for anything else to surface. The last thought, before standing up in the dark, was that I've been doing this for so long. Worrying everyday about the next, how I was going to get by, and what I had to take care of. The last time I can remember that I didn't have to worry and pine over tomorrow, was when I was in high school, 12 years ago. That's almost half of my life.
This is by no means an excuse to run away from my problems, living a normal life, or my responsibilities. Afterall, we were 4 days away from flying out to BC when this opportunity presented itself. It was such because it afforded us the safety and security for Trisha and Sophia, the companionship for her expecting sister, the convenience and peace of mind for her husband knowing that family would be here to take care of his investments, and the accumulated pay checks I would have when this adventure was finished in the spring of 2008. It was a win-win situation all around for everyone involved. Although I would be sacrificing time with my girls and baby's firsts, it would allow us to make a plan for the future - to decide what we wanted to do next instead of being forced into making a choice based on limited options. It was the opportunity to provide a better future for all of us.
I've been thrown into numerous situations where I was forced to adapt to the moment to get a job done. That is an aspect of my personality that I am proud of because there are very few times that I couldn't adapt. There are few times that failure succeeded. I believe that is what will get me through this job - my ability to adapt.
There are very few challenges that can be presented out here by other people. That's not to say that I am out of reach. I know there are those in my life that will try me on different levels. I can guarantee that over the next 8 or 9 months someone I know will challenge me in some form. I will be sure to write something about it, but that will be just as any other challenge that will come my way - sure to be knocked down and stomped on.

What did I get myself into? Part One

2007-09-24T22:14:00.003-05:00

Edmund Lake is a beautiful place. It is a huge lake with dozens of islands and bays that could take months to explore entirely. I'm not entirely sure about the area yet, but i believe that there are rivers that feed this lake from other lakes and vice versa.

The wildlife around here is plentiful and is kind of overwhelming considering I was in the city only 2 weeks ago. Shortly after my arrival I was taken out onto the lake for some fishing and a brief introduction to the lake and its size. I was amazed to encounter a Woodsland Caribou (thank you Mark for clarifying that), a creature I only heard about and saw on television, swimming across the lake. It was my honor to have been so close to such a beautiful creature.
Just the day after the Caribou encounter we were out for some more fishing and saw a family of American bald eagles. Mom, Pop, and baby were nestled in separate trees watching us and squawking as eagles do. At one point one of the parent eagles swooped down alongside our boat. Being so quiet and peaceful out here I could hear the wind under its wings as it flew past us and attempted to grab a fish out of the water. It got a hold of a fish, but did not carry it off in its talons. It was our belief that the parents were trying to show the young eagle how to fish for food. During our 45 minute stay at that fishing spot the young one did not attempt to get any fish out of the water. It must have been shy because there was no shortage of fish in that spot. Needless to say, we caught our limits and then some in that short time. I however, could not keep any and had to throw mine back, but it was still fun to get them into the boat!

The wildlife here has just barely begun to come around. When I go out in the mornings I can smell something that was described to me as the scent of a bear. I have yet to see it, but perhaps that is what I hear crackin' around in the bushes when I'm out cutting my firewood. It could be a moose, it could also be a wolf. Whatever it is, if it presents itself, I have my camera in my right chest pocket and a loaded shotgun within three paces of where ever I stand. I hope I won't have to use the gun, i'd rather take some footage of whatever it is with my camera and see it go about its business without causing me any grief. That's not to say I won't blow the damn thing away if it approaches me, I'd just rather shoot it in a different way.

The wildlife is the reason that this place exists. If the Northern Pike were not the main attraction I'm sure that other fishing and wildlife exposure would entice tourists to this place, but it would take some special marketing.
The camp is pretty special, considering the remote location. There are 6 guest cabins that can house a varying number of fishing parties at one time. With comfortable beds, fully functional washrooms with showers in every cabin, electricity and heat it would be difficult to abhor the accommodations. The dining hall is pretty nice too, with regular buffets and meals cooked daily by the kitchen staff. A full bar just off the dining area has couches, stools, various games and satellite tv - for a relaxing game of poker, a beer, and the game on the tube after a long day of catching some of the biggest northern pike in North America.

The Trip

2007-09-17T22:34:00.002-05:00

Saturday morning I woke up at 7:30 am. It was 1.5 hours before i took off from Thompson airport for Edmund Lake Lodge. I gathered my belongings, which i had packed the night before, and loaded them into the car that would take me to the airport.
Before leaving I quietly entered my daughters room and was going to wake her up to say goodbye, but she was sleeping and there was something angelic about her in her slumber. I just couldn't wake her, so i kissed her cheek and told her that i loved her and that daddy would be gone for a long time and to be good for mommy.
I kissed and hugged my girlfriend and told her to be strong and not to cry. Seeing her upset was hard for me to handle, it was hard to let go of her but i had to make my flight. In the front of my mind I kept thinking about why we were doing all this, which is why i managed to put one foot in front of the other as I headed out the door.

the small plane in the back
ground was my first ticket
to edmund lake, destined for
God's Lake Narrows

I checked in at 830 am with Perimeter Air, one of a couple of air travel companies that operate flights to remote locations throughout Manitoba. The small plane i was on seated 10 people and was like a giant tin can with wings. I wasn't scared to be in it, in fact I was hoping for more turbulence than what we experienced...i love the positive and negative g's!

The first flight took just over 55 minutes from take off to touch down and wasn't very entertaining. It was raining in Thompson so the cloud cover didn't allow me to see the ground below until we reached Gods Lake Narrows. I got some good pictures of the ground below from the plane and the territory is very interesting.

I waited at the airport for almost two hours before the plane arrived to take me to Edmund Lake Lodge. It was very quiet in Gods Lake Narrows and the people driving by in their trucks and on atv's stared at me as they passed by. It would have bothered me a little if i was new to travelling to nowhere towns, but i knew that curiosity is a by-product of having nothing to do. I just kept standing like a statue waiting for my plane to arrive.

Twenty minutes before the Norseman arrived from Edmund Lake Lodge a Perimeter flight arrived from Winnipeg with 3 passengers. Hank, Mark, and Cody, three generations of Ireland's, greeted me where I waited with my gear and cargo for Edmund Lodge. I didn't know it then but it was an honor to have met them. They knew the area and had been at both God's Lake and Edmund Lake numerous times, and they were quick to get some work done. First task was to get our gear down to the dock to load into the Norseman.
Hank walked down to the dock and hauled back a big red wagon that he had built for the exact purpose he was bringing it for. We loaded our gear and walked it down to the dock. The wagon was very well built and practically drove itself even with a few hundred pounds of cargo loaded on it.

The Norseman arrived and we all helped the pilot and owner/operator of Edmund Lake Lodge, Chuck Harmer, unload the cargo he brought in and we loaded up our gear we were taking to the lodge.
The second leg of the journey was better, flying in that plane was more exciting than flying with Perimeter. There is something exciting about that old plane - the roar of the propellers, the smell of spent fuel, the g's, flying low...it is, all in all, an experience i would gladly do over and over without losing interest.

We arrived about 35 minutes later, greeted by the resident canine "Casey". As I looked around at all there was to see I knew that it would take me a few days to adjust to my surroundings and soak in everything that I am responsible for. Even though I had given away 98% of all that I owned, moved my family, sacrificed watching my daughter grow - her first Christmas, birthday, tooth, words, and more, and traveled a total of 1100 kilometers from where we started our journey, I knew that the work had not even begun.

Coming Soon: "What did I get myself into?"

The Start

2007-09-16T22:01:00.002-05:00

A few months back i was relieved of my duties at my place of employment, one week away from the end of my probation and the day I was to be represented by the union. I was given reasons for my dismissal in the meeting at the end of my last day but I was refused a written copy.

I was under a lot of stress at that point. I had busted my ass to do everything they asked me to, but still did not meet their agenda. The fact was, i was unemployed with a 5 month old baby and bills to pay. Me and my woman had to figure out what we were going to do next, for the best interests of our child and our future.

We were still struggling to figure out a plan when we almost accidentally stumbled upon an action plan. Having to do my taxes for 2006 in order to receive our CT credit for our baby I discovered that I was getting a return. With this new information in our stressful situation we did some calculations and discovered that we could afford to relocate to a different province where the economy and people are better and nicer than the fucked up cesspool that is Winnipeg.

We sold some things in an attempt to increase our travel money. We gave away some things to goodwill, books mostly. We donated probably 98% of our belongings to charity, and put probably 1.5% of our treasured items into storage. The rest that remained were our clothes, and our baby's toys, car seat, stroller, and a few electronics we could not part with.

All the while, all of august, we battled with the landlord to let us out of our lease. Originally he was forgiving and understanding of our need to relocate, but when asked for a written guarantee that he agreed to release us of all obligations of the lease he denied us that and quickly became uncommunicable. With little options to go without getting into debt for over $7,000 I started using pressure tactics to make him release us of those obligations. To make a long story short, he buckled under the pressure and we left our home on the 11th of September with most of the conditions of our departure met by him.

One week before leaving for BC we had an opportunity present itself that sounded more and more seductive as the days closed in on the 15th of September, the original day we agreed to leave our home. When we found out that I had the job we scrambled to complete our moving issues - donating, packing, storing, cleaning, etc.

We headed north.

Now I am writing this entry from what would literally be considered the middle of nowhere. It would take probably weeks to get to the nearest town by foot - through bush and across lakes and rivers. By Skidoo, when everything is frozen, it would take about 4 hours to reach the nearest health facility...if necessary. The only sensible way in is by float plane...1.5 hours away from Thompson.

Thus begins the next 9 or so months, until the snow melts. My journey, and adventure in this wilderness paradise. My intentions here are to document as much as I can, from the journey here to my daily routines to the special events that occasionally present themselves.

This story is about survival of a city boy in the middle of nowhere and i'll be honored to share as much as i can with you.